#3: Mario Sallies Forth
By Emerson Kluge

Bridle and whip in hand, Mario pulled open the stable door, the smell of a hundred tamed yoshis greeting him, filling his nostrils with their musk. He hesitated, then with a determined grimace flung both doors into the wind and strode directly to his mount.

Mario hated the yoshis. These skittish, off-putting creatures got the best of everyone. They would start and buck their riders at the slightest discomfort and their piercing calls assaulted the ears. They would eat their owners bankrupt and shared a digestive system with Koopa King, a gut no loving god could have created. They were, however the only mounts available and it was a long road to Koopa Keep.

The yoshi squirmed as Mario attempted to bridle it, only calming once the studded leather harness was securely fastened and it lost all hope of freedom. The beast already wore its saddle and boots. With those they knew they were tamed; a yoshi without the spikes as constant reminders would soon revert to a wild state.

Mario slowly opened the stall gate and sidled next to his mount. The yoshi shuffled away as he placed his foot in the stirrup, then gripping the reigns, Mario swung over and put his full weight on the yoshi's back.

"Wheee-ta!" the yoshi called.

Mario cringed, the noise resonating painfully in his inner ear.

An answering call came somewhere from the stable's rear. Mario's yoshi called again and soon the yoshi's filled the with hysterical high-pitched shrieks.

Mario plugged his ears and closed his eyes, steadying himself against the physical pain and the much worse mental torment of having to rely on such unstable creatures.

The cacophony died as the yoshis exhausted themselves and Mario once again took up the reigns. He guided the yoshi to the stable door. To be sure it wasn’t lame he had to test it.

Mario minutely adjusted the reigns and delivered a straight line-drive punch to the back of the yoshi's head. Faster than he could see a sticky tongue lanced at the wall and adhered to a pair of garden sheers. The tongue stopped momentarily before retracting into the yoshi's mouth. Simultaneously Mario pressed a nerve on its neck. The pressure point would suppress the urge to swallow for a few moments. Another punch and it would expel the trapped object, simply releasing the nerve would allow it to ingest whatever it had captured.

Mario released.

With a terrible gulp the shears slid into the yoshi's belly and a great, wet rumbling emanated from beneath the saddle abating quickly to nothing. Mario's mount twitched and behind him a smooth, oblong lump of metal dropped from the yoshi to the dusty stable floor.

This 'yoshi coin' was a pure lump of Mushroom Kingdom hard currency. King Toadstool may have had his personal stable, but the rest of the kingdom did not. Treasure seekers would scour the countryside examining and dissecting every yoshi stool they could find. They extracted the coinage and carried the abusively heavy loads back to villages and towns. There they would rest and resupply, enjoying themselves as they could before heading back to their job of feces and hard labor.

Mario was not after wealth. He left the coin and headed for the open.

From the Mushroom Kingdom a single road, patrolled by the formidable Koopa Army led directly to Bowser's Castle. The Mushroom people may not have been of sufficient stature to confront the horde of turtles, goombas and "Bullet Bill" artillery, but Mario was. The plodding mass of misshapen creatures could try to keep him from the Princess, but he had defeated them before and he would do it again.

The Koopa armies' fortifications similarly meant nothing. Mario already disregarded in his mind the towers and castles and even the ghost-infested ruins on the way to Koopa Keep. They were merely obstacles to be overcome on his way to the goal. To the Princess. To his Peach.

Mario steadied the yoshi. The animal stepped and turned trembling, confused at the brightness after being confined to the stable for so long.

Toad may have been able to separate the Princess and Mario here, but he was powerless out there. A single Koopa Trooper would snap his neck and tear him to shreds in an instant. His words, his sway over King Toadstool and that ornate scepter he carried would do nothing against the horde.

As much as it had pleased Toad, if he did have anything to do with the kidnapping he was a fool. He had removed Peach from the castle and pitched her directly into Mario's element. Mario could defeat Bowser and be with Peach - if only for a few moments - away from everything that had kept them apart.

For the first time in a very long while a light of hope sparkled in Mario's heart.

He dug in the spurs.